The Bible is very clear about sex outside of marriage being a sin- it’s called fornication. Fornication is a dangerous thing and one that should be avoided at all costs. But why, you may ask? Why does God tell us to wait until marriage for sex? I thought He gave us these desires. Well, you’re right. He did, but He also gave us guidelines for these desires and they’re for your benefit. Let’s take a look at what I mean.
“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
– Hebrews 13:4
All scriptures are taken from the NKJV unless otherwise noted.
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
– Genesis 2:24
When someone becomes married, they become one flesh with that person. That’s the way God intended things to be. However, we know that in today’s world many people don’t think they have to be married to have sex anymore. While in the physical realm, that may be true, there’s always something going on in the spiritual realm to be aware of.
I don’t blame the average person for the problem for the sexual sins we have today. While they play a role, they are ultimately victims of the wiles of the devil. The enemy has hijacked the media and movies of today’s time. He can easily manipulate the masses because there are screens literally everywhere that he can use.
Sex outside of marriage has become the norm, but so has the consequences of it. One of those consequences are called soul-ties. When two people have sex, their souls become attached. In a marriage, that’s what you want and expect. However, when this is done outside of marriage it’s a recipe for disaster. Now, these people are playing a very dangerous game.
They’re now likely to worship the other person, have a child outside of wedlock, be vulnerable to depression caused by heartbreak, have demons from the other person latch onto them, and many more issues. This brings us to our next topic, protection.
To learn more about soul-ties, check out Lily’s article, “Soul-Ties 101”
“Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.”
– 1 Corinthians 6:18
Believe it or not, everything God commands us to do is for our own benefit. Think about it: He’s God. There’s nothing we can do or not do that would change His status. Instead, the things He tells us to do is for us. He’s our parent and the good shepherd, which means He knows best!
Waiting until marriage to have sex is for our protection. It can protect us from heartbreak, depression, STD’s, being used by others, insecurity, rejection, false rape allegations, the worry of the other person cheating, having a child out of wedlock, financial troubles, and so many other dangers.
I’m not joking. Fornication is a dangerous game! Many people who have sex outside of marriage and bare children do not stay together. This means the child will suffer the loss of an essential family unit. Sometimes, one parent leaves the child forever causing all sorts of emotional trauma. There are enough fatherless homes in this country. Please, don’t add to that problem.
Also, relationships that occur without marriage can cause a lot of drama. It can create insecurities and cause one person to worry that the other person may cheat. After all, there are no laws stopping them from doing that. As far as the law is concerned, their relationship doesn’t exist. This too is a dangerous game!
There are countless stories of people who have gone into debt for their significant other, get dumped, and are now stuck with the debt. How awful! During a divorce, the court steps in to ensure people are held responsible for their debts. But without that, you’re on your own!
All of these things are bad, but let’s not forget about STD’s. If two people save themselves until marriage, there is a very unlikely chance these people would have an STD. In fact, if everyone only had one other person their entire life to have sex with, we would stop the spread of STD’s entirely. That’s certainly something to think about.
Sex with multiple partners can destroy one’s self-image. You have to love yourself to know your future is worth more than your present. Don’t give in to the temporal pleasures at the risk of a better future.
Demonic Spirits Can Hijack Our Desires
“But I have a few things against you, because you have there those who hold the doctrine of Balaam, who taught Balak to put a stumbling block before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed to idols, and to commit sexual immorality.“
– Revelation 2:14
Physical intimacy should be special. It should be honored and protected by marriage. God has ordained it that way. However, the enemy is hard at work trying to twist and pervert the things of God any way he can. That’s why it’s only common sense that he would distort our strong sensual desires as well.
The enemy works hard to push sexual desires on children as early as possible. This can include pornography or through music and media. If a child does not know the boundaries for these God-given desires, it’ll be easier to lead them astray. It’s important to pay very close attention to everything your child indulges in such as:
- TV shows
- video games
But it shouldn’t be a surprise that children are not the only ones who are vulnerable to the enemy’s tactics. Adults who do not have God also don’t know boundaries. Plus, if they were the children raised without any insight from God, they would never even know sex outside of marriage can be dangerous.
This leads to all sorts of problems and demons love ignorant people.
“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.
Because you have rejected knowledge,
I also will reject you from being priest for Me;
Because you have forgotten the law of your God,
I also will forget your children.“
– Hosea 4:6
They can use these people to lead others astray into sexual sins. What was meant for good can quickly be turned for evil. What comes to mind when you think of prostitutes, pornstars, and orgies? If it’s not demonic activity then there’s something wrong.
The Bible uses the imagery of marriage to describe Christ’s relationship with the church. Anything that defiles, corrupts, or distorts that image is from the enemy. In fact, God calls people who worship other gods harlots!
“And the Lord said to Moses: “Behold, you will rest with your fathers; and this people will rise and play the harlot with the gods of the foreigners of the land, where they go to be among them, and they will forsake Me and break My covenant which I have made with them.”
– Deuteronomy 31:16
Fornication and the entertainment of a Jezebel spirit are dangerous because it leads to more and more ungodliness. For example, people who seek the thrill of sexual enjoyment soon plateau and need more to feel pleasure. They soon find themself entangled in more violent, perverted, distorted, disastrous, destructive, and radical sexual behavior.
Sex Should Honor And Glorify God
“Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
– 1 Corinthians 10:31
Did you know that if done correctly, sex will honor and glorify God? As mentioned before, God has given us these sexual desires and boundaries in which to express them. When done correctly and in obedience to God, it glorifies God and causes God to bless your marriage. That shouldn’t be a surprise. God values obedience and always blesses it.
In Romans 12:1, the apostle Paul urges the believers in Christ to present their bodies as a living sacrifice unto God. That means to be obedient and to glorify God in all we do. I personally believe that when we live blamelessly, it’s considered worship to God. Think about it. God has given us our bodies. What better way to worship God and to show our love toward Him than to obey Him and do the things He asks us to do?
When does correctly, sexual intimacy will have no shame or guilt. It’s a gift from God and should be used to honor Him and give Him glory.
It Will Honor Our Partner
“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
– Hebrews 13:4
What if there is someone out there for you? Someone that will love you unconditionally for the rest of your life. Wouldn’t you want to respect and save yourself for them? If God has anointed you for marriage, He will send you your spouse at the right time. All you need to do is occupy yourself with being obedient to God.
I know personally how devastating it can feel to find your spouse and have to overcome the regret of not saving yourself for marriage. I didn’t get saved until the age of 17 and there is a long record of sins I’ve committed before then, including fornication. Everything I was trying to satisfy within myself from these sins was made complete when I found God.
After that, I was no longer looking for a human partner to satisfy my needs because God was all I needed. Shortly after, God sent my husband and he was everything I could’ve ever desired. It was foolish to commit fornication and it did not bring any lasting joy.
People get caught up in time, but God is eternal. He sees the beginning and the end (more accurately, He is the beginning and the end). That’s why we need to trust Him and His perfect timing.
You Can Have Kids Safely
Waiting until marriage is the smart thing to do because it gives a safety net for children who can potentially be born. By getting married, both parties express that they are committed to staying together forever through thick and thin. It’s a great form of protection in case a family is started.
A family should be the end result of marriage, not the other way around. There’s nothing more beautiful and satisfying to human beings than having a successful family unit that puts God first. It’s one of the main duties God specifically tells His people to do. People who get married first are far more likely to stay together longer if kids are born because they’ve already expressed their commitment to one another and God.
Many people persevere in their marriage because they honor God before anything else. They love God and desire to be obedient to Him. Therefore, they can get through the hardships of marriage. Never underestimate the power and importance of marriage!
It Makes It More Enjoyable
When you realize that waiting until marriage for sex creates protection, glorifies God, and honors your spouse, how can it not become more enjoyable? Having someone who has confessed their love to you before God and all your family makes life, in general, more enjoyable. You will no longer be alone in all your endeavors and you will forever have a best friend who you can share all your secrets to.
That’s the person you want to give your body to. No one else should even be considered. The physical interaction with someone ends as soon as it’s over, but marriage should endure for a lifetime. This will bring not only physical benefits but spiritual and emotional as well. No other sexual contact could ever make up for that.
“Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.“
– 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
Sex is meant to glorify God and create a family unit. The fleshly desires of man have been hijacked by the devil to get humans to commit the most depraved and godless acts to each other. Don’t be deceived, God does not condone sexual immorality.
When you wait until marriage to have sex, it protects and benefits you. It makes it way more enjoyable and safe. It’s the way God intended it to be.
I pray you found this article helpful. If so, please share this content. Also, feel free to leave a comment below. As always, thanks for reading!